Wow. I never expected a simple post on a personal blog I don’t promote to generate the traffic I’ve seen over the last week. It was astounding and incredibly humbling, because all my thoughts are just that–my personal experience traveling through this shadowland. Nothing I shared seemed remarkable, and yet the content resonated across multiple social networks and sites. I’m no expert, so… wow. Thank you all for the kind words and support. My heart in writing that list really was to give people practical insight as they try to assist and love during difficult times, and my continuing hope and prayer is for that result.
Of course, the strange thing about articles emanating farther and farther from their source is how people change their filter when commenting. A couple folks thought the whole idea of “7 things not to say” was mean-spirited, as I was calling out people who were “just trying to help.” And that’s a fair point, though (I hope) a misreading.
I want to reiterate once again that every single statement was probably intended to be kind–that’s why I wrote the list in the “well-intentioned” but “better” format. The last few months, even before Mom died, have been an exercise in learning to hear people’s hearts rather than their words sometimes. Because people do care, above and beyond what I could ever have imagined, and I have been blown away by people’s emotional and physical support–and that includes people who have said/done things that collide with my personality/circumstances.
I’ve always tried to write every blog post, random comment, and Facebook status as if everyone on the Internet can and will read it. Moral of the story? Keep doing just that, because you never know how far words will travel!