Hi there. What’s shaking? Oh you know, just a dismembered bathroom, grad school, and new challenges at work, along with some large doses of introspection. Here’s the inaugural “why we’ve been MIA” — hopefully without resorting to the treacly “so busy” excuse.
1. WordPress ate my political, rah-rah-third-party post in November and I couldn’t recreate it to my liking. Its disappearance was probably God’s mercy on me, as I was in no mood to respond but would have done so anyone with snippy remarks and attitude. Besides, that post was mostly for myself as I figured out what in tarnation I intended to do once I found myself in the ballot box. Ironically, I’m truly and honestly not certain who I voted for. Seriously. I was about to vote a couple booths down from a little old lady who suddenly fell and took her booth with her, shaking up the humdrum (she was okay). It startled me enough that I voted, walked out the door, then stopped and said, “Hang on, did I vote for the dude I meant to?” Oh well.
2. I’ve been reading a lot of Christian feminist blogs while resisting the impulse to stake a public claim. I’m weighing many aspects of the subculture I grew up in and trying to sort wheat from chaff, personal conviction from my conviction. And frankly, this process is not for public consumption, at least not yet. This process is bringing me closer than ever to core orthodox doctrines, but also inspires plenty of knee-jerking. There are enough voices crying in the wilderness (including friends like Emily and Hännah, as well as plenty of Patheos, RHE, etc. Also, Wayne Grudem‘s logical leaps make me raise my eyebrows); I don’t feel God calling me to join them, but perhaps to bring them food and water and love them in their mission.
As I process privately, I’ve concluded that my role is different, but no easier and no harder: to love the people around me. And there’s no reason for me to create a permanent public record that will almost certainly be read, misunderstood, or painful to people I love. At least not yet. Believe me, I’m reading and conversing privately on this subject like crazy. Feel free to ask and challenge me.
3. We’ve been focused on other hobbies. You know that half marathon I said I was going to run? I OWNED IT (well, I finished). Now there’s gardening to do in addition to the running, and I’m puttering about with other writing projects as well as starting voice lessons. It’s awesome. Oh yeah, and the wedding hopping of last semester (four weddings with about double that in related events). David’s all-consuming thoughts are grad school and surviving IEP/VAPP/SOL season with his sanity intact. And did I mention that we gutted the second bathroom and have had a bathroom in our kitchen for over a month? Yeah, that’s us.
And I know that’s kinda-sorta admitting that we’ve been busy. But I’m done acting like busy-ness is something we have foisted upon us, rather than something we choose that reflects who we are. And so, this counts. Hah.
Now that we’re back, I’ve changed my tune a bit. Here’s what I expect going forward:
I have no interest in being another DIY, aspiring photographer enthusiast. There are plenty of folks doing a great job of that already, and my voice is stronger in other areas. And frankly? I tried a few posts in that regard, and discovered that I just. don’t. care. So I’m avoiding the fad, and took down the “Our Chateau” page to avoid any competition.
I DO want to tell the great stories that come from living life in Richmond, and to document my enthusiasm for new lessons. I’m sure I’ll say dumb stuff now and then, and I don’t intend to hold my breath until I have all the answers. But I distinguish between the public and private conversations just like I distinguish between ripe and underripe fruit — only one is fit to serve my guests. So I’m committed to writing what’s fit for public consumption, should anyone wander across my sphere. And you know what? We have some pretty great stories to tell.
My voice is strongest by speaking the positives, and letting beautiful ideas and confident faith be their own rebuttal to the naysayers. And yeah, I’m excited about that.